Content Updated On : 2024-03-29

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

30 minutes

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

30 minutes

You can do anything with bayonets except sit on them.

30 minutes

Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested.

30 minutes

It's funny, because what happens to me when I read a script, when something grabs hold of me, I start getting these flashes of people or places or things or images.

30 minutes

I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It's chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.

30 minutes

It's very funny that I'm being appreciated for my dance moves because when I was young, I was made fun of, as nobody thought I was able to dance.

30 minutes

I think if I'm with a friend group, I try to be as funny as possible, and I don't always succeed, obviously.

30 minutes

It's funny because when you're a Welshman living in England, you always get the mickey taken out of you for being Welsh, and then when you go to Wales with an English accent because you were born in Bristol and grew up in Birmingham, they say you're English. You can never win.

30 minutes

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

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It's part of the gift and the curse of coming behind my brother. I'm not afforded the luxury of just taking a set casual, taking the night off. Because if I bomb, it's, 'Oh, he's not funny - he's just doing it because of his brother.'

30 minutes

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

30 minutes

I had the classic 40 meltdown. I did. It's embarrassing. It was pretty funny. But then I recovered. To me, it was like a second adolescence. Hormonally, my body was changing, my mind was changing, and so my relationship to myself and the world around me came to this assault of finiteness.

30 minutes

I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again - I have seen others whose stuff was anything but humorous, and the audience would howl with laughter.

30 minutes

If a wig is funny when it's two feet tall, why not make it three feet tall? Or ten?

30 minutes

You can make me laugh at a thing that I think is horrific. You can make me laugh at a thing that affects me personally. But if you've done your homework and you've gone about it the right way, it will still be funny.

30 minutes

I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.

30 minutes

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

30 minutes

We owe to the Middle Ages the two worst inventions of humanity - romantic love and gunpowder.

30 minutes

Do you know who I would love to play? Morticia Addams - then I could use all that darkness to be funny.

30 minutes

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